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Rude customers don’t usually expect you to hurl a javelin through them.

Bean Bag Buccaneers


Bean Bag Buccaneers is a two player children’s game, the object of which is to pick up your treasure chest on the central island and sail back safely.

Each player has a giant sailing ship as their main game piece. Each ship has a removable sail, two trigger-action side panels, and a huge spring-driven cannon. Players take turns moving forward along a prescribed track and shooting bean bags at their opponent’s ship. A hit on one of the side panels will force it to pop off and give the player a free shot at the other side; a hit forcing the sail off becalms the ship for a turn.

To add to the pirate flavor, each player also has an eye patch. Wearing these will slightly affect depth perception and add a marginal bit of sport to the shooting.

This game retailed for the somewhat impressive sum of $16 back in 1962. With its huge plastic ships (close to a foot long), giant vinyl play mat, and the eye patches, it may well stand as one of the more overproduced games of the early 1960s. Bean Bag Buccaneers.

Goodbye Morning

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For some reason, waking up for me generally feels like being hit by a truck. I’m not sure why, but I don’t have to drink even a drop of alcohol to wake up feeling hungover. It reminds me of the painfully groggy emergence from cryonic hypersleep that you see in some science fiction movies.

I’m always glad when afternoon hits and I no longer feel this way.

Draw Again

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In addition to video games, I’ve also rekindled the hobby of drawing.

I’d always loved to draw, but quite a few years went by where it seemed like I just couldn’t make the time for it. I was thrilled when recently I started a handful of new pencil doodles to scan and color in Photoshop. One of my nieces took notice of this and made it a point to do more drawings when she visited, excitedly bringing my attention to each one.

Recently, she impressed me with a single vanishing point perspective line drawing. It made me eager to give her some pointers to achieve even greater illusion of depth in her future drawings, and it made me eager to introduce her to two-point and three-point perspective drawing. They say the best way to lead is by example, so I’m making an approximation of her drawing with added foreshortening and more parallel elements to contrast for depth. She’s already excited to learn these tricks and to see first-hand what a difference they make. I’m excited that I’ve been given a reason to draw a hallway to nowhere (except for doors leading to reptiles), with giant frogs on the ceiling and fish swimming within each step of the stairs.

Oatmeal Reagan Cookies

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Since I’ve somehow managed to live more than 30 years without any of my organs exploding out of my body in jets of flame like something out of Ghost in the Shell, I figure I’m stuck being alive for a good while longer and should probably start taking care of myself so that these organs I’m stuck with don’t shrivel up, turn black, and start playing Pac-Man with my well-being.

This is why I’ve decided lately to make a concerted effort to eat healthier than I learned to back as a child in the 80s: sugary cereal for breakfast, soda for every inkling of thirst, and cake, candy, donuts, pie, and any other desserts at every opportunity. You could probably still tap my circulatory system like a maple tree and enjoy my syrupy sweetness on your unhealthy breakfast.

I had the opportunity earlier today to eat a number of those things (and probably worse), but I instead found myself opting for an oatmeal raisin cookie (the healthiest thing on hand), and I enjoyed it every bit as much as I would the glaziest doughnut.

What the BOOM!!!

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First off, let’s get this Blog of Mind-Bending Chaos and Unbridled Awesomeness launched with a bit of designamite…